I believed my relationship with God was solid, but men would make you believe otherwise. Once, after having sex with another man, we prayed together for forgiveness. We would meet, have sex, and in the morning, I would pray for forgiveness. The church allowed me not to be questioned by my friends in college, and my neighbors were not suspicious due to my mostly hooking up with straight-passing men who carried big Bibles under their arms too. Being unable to date or marry women as a member of the church, I found myself constantly around men. Though the church was supposed to change me, it just created more shields.
